Of Chess and P00P Decks

Alas, it’s not all fun and games out here, I have to actually log 8-9 hours a day at the office. It’s the first week so it’s too early to tell anything substantive, but it would appear that Hawaiian lawyers don’t take themselves as seriously as Boston lawyers. An example:I am researching the question of whether you treble attorney fees when you treble damages and one of the leading cases on this is “Jankey v. Poop Deck.”

I have a good chuckle about this and remember the Family Guy episode where Peter is called out on a cruise by the Captain for going no. 2 on the poop deck.

Peter: (indignant) “But, it is called a poop deck.”
Captain: “You sir, are disgusting.”
Peter: “And you sir, are misleading.”

So I’m telling the attorney about the cases and when I start talking about Jankey she starts cracking up and making jokes about poop decks. If this is any indication of general office attitude, I think it’s gonna be a great 11 weeks.

For those of you who keep asking me to put a pic of me up, here I am in all my pale glory. This nice fat gay couple took this picture and told me my smile was just “fabulous.”

This week I’m riding home on the bus, reading a book called “The Flanders Pannel,” a book about paintings and chess (it’s more interesting than it sounds, damnit), and there are lots of illustrations of chess notation in it to explain things to people who can’t read chess notation. This woman sitting by me watches me for awhile and then taps me on the shoulder. “You play chess?” I nod. “I’m not very good.” Which is true for those of you who have ever play me. I’m rash and don’t think enough moves ahead. Fun fact: I’ve never beaten my Dad in a chess game. I’m going to wait until he’s very old and dribbly, basically mentally deficient, and then I’m gonna pounce. He’ll still probably be at me, but at least the odds will be more level. The chess woman smiles, “you come play at Waikiki, we play on the beach.” I shake my head politely, “that’s very kind of you” and I add other deferments. But later as I am walking the beach, taking pictures of the sunset you see, I see her, she waves me over and I get to play chess with the natives. I am like the untalented female version of that kid in that movie “Searching for Bobby Fischer” when he finds Laurence Fishburne playing chess in the park. My loss is swift and merciless, but, we’re outside playing chess, and this is very exciting for me, to play chess in Hawaii. I am invited back to play next week. The picture here is of the lady who invited me to play, I figured it would be too touristy to ask someone to take a pic of me while I played. But I’ll get there. And for those of you who haven’t figured out what a huge dork I am (and really, how could you not, all the signs are there) this story should seal the deal.

After chess, I go watch a hula demonstration. They hold a different variation of them each night on the beach at sunset. For tonight’s theme, a young girl wants to marry a guy below her caste (they used to have those back in the day of Kings and Queens in Hawaii) and so she goes to some spirit in the forest and dances for him and the spirit lets her marry beneath her. Yeah, I just butchered that story. Whatever, just look at the picture. It’s a hula girl. Geez.

Lastly, I have to give out a shout out to my Mom, giver of life and maker of macaroni, (and my blog's only true follower. Joyceman and others, I know you're all reading it, giving me a complex). Mom, I hope you're feeling better!